Harassment and stalking – 16 plus
What is the difference between harassment and stalking?
Stalking and harassment are closely related and are often confused. Both involve one person intimidating or threatening another person but there are important differences in the way this is carried out.
Harassment is behaviour designed to create a nuisance. It involves acting in a way that is threatening and disturbing, with the intention of frightening and intimidating someone.
Harassers may, for example, do things like spreading rumours that make it difficult for people to find and keep work or may cause them to lose friends or relationships.
Stalking is a specific behaviour whereas harassment is more general. Stalking is a particular form of harassment which is focused on following people, and is usually designed to create contact with someone.
Stalkers may use a variety of methods to attempt to establish a relationship, including calling, emailing, sending letters and waiting where someone works or lives.
Stalking is usually a series of acts committed over a period of time. Harassment can be one single incident. Both stalking and harassment are illegal.
Why is somebody targeting me?
You may know the person who is stalking or harassing you, or they may be a mystery person you have never met.
There are many different reasons why someone may stalk or harass someone. These include:
- loneliness;
- revenge;
- resentment; or
- wanting to be in control.
They may even delusionally believe that the person they are bothering is really in love with them and that sooner or later, they will get together.
Whatever is happening, it is important to know that it is not your fault. Even if you know or once knew the person involved, that does not mean it is acceptable. It’s wrong and frightening.
If someone is not being violent, is it still a crime? Simply, yes.
No violence doesn’t mean the victim you’re not affected. Stalking can cause severe distress, such as depression; anxiety; lack of sleep; paranoia and stress.
Am I overreacting?
No! If you feel scared, worried or angered by any behaviour, then you should not have to put up with it.
Ask yourself these questions to work out whether you are the subject of harassment or stalking:
- Have they vandalised or destroyed your property?
- Have they turned up unannounced more than three times a week?
- Have they followed or hung around near your home or workplace?
- Have they made threats?
How should I feel if I am being harassed or stalked?
Stalking and harassment can have a huge impact on your life. It can make you change the way you live, may stop seeing your friends, lead to you changing your phone number or make you decide to stay at home more.
These situations can leave you feeling lonely, scared, frightened or on edge all the time.
If you feel any of these things, it is perfectly normal and you’re not alone. Lots of people feel the same away, and there are people who can help. This is illegal and you should not have to put up with it.
What can I do if I’m being harassed or stalked?
Harassment is a criminal offence. It is important to tell people it is happening, as you need to make sure you stay safe and people know you’re worried, so they can help you and look out for you.
You may find it difficult to tell other people about what is happening – you might be worried about what they will say or if they will believe you.Tell an adult you trust. This could include a teacher, boss, family member, youth worker, social worker or support worker. They will be able to help you develop a plan to stay safe;
- talk to Voice. We’re here to help on anything, big or small;
- contact the police. Stalking and harassment are against the law, so if you decide to report this, don’t be scared – you will be taken seriously. If you’re in immediate danger, call 999. If not, talk to someone on 101.
As well as speaking to someone, make sure you:
- gather as much evidence as possible of what has been happening to you. This might include copies of emails, text messages and unwanted gifts;
- keep a log of all the incidents that have occurred. Write down what has happened soon after each event including times and dates. This is important because it shows police, friends or family exactly how the person’s behaviour has impacted on your life; and
- tell the person – clearly and calmly, just once, that you don’t want a relationships with them and want them to go away. Make sure you don’t communicate with them and never answer or return phone calls.
If things carry on, the courts can order the person to stop harassing or stalking you.