Attacks, abuse and violence – 11-15

Physical abuse is simply when someone is hurting you. This can involve:

• hitting, smacking or slapping;
• punching, kicking or pulling your hair;
• pinching, scratching and biting;
• shaking or stopping you from breathing;
• scalding or burning you;
• spitting at you or throwing things at you; and
• making you eat or drink something you didn’t want to.

It can be hard to tell someone when you are being abused at home. You may feel like you don’t want to get your family in trouble, or you may feel embarrassed.

But remember, physical abuse is wrong and you shouldn’t have to put up with it.

Whatever has happened, it is never your fault and you don’t ever deserve to be abused.

If you’re being abused, you must make sure you get help from someone you trust. If you’re in immediate danger, call the police on 999. Otherwise, you can speak to:

• Voice – were here to help you, no matter what has happened. It is free to talk to us and we don’t have to tell anyone if you don’t want us to;
• an adult you can trust – this could include a teacher, a youth worker or support worker. Tell them what’s happened, and ask for their help and advice;
• your friends – they will listen to you and may help you speak to an adult; and
• the police – call 999 in an emergency or 101 to speak to the police.

There are many reasons why people abuse others. It is often because of problems the person doing the abusing has themselves, and it might be to do with drugs or alcohol. But this is never an excuse. No matter what someone is going through, it doesn’t make it okay for them to hurt you.

If you are being abused, you must speak to someone to help stop it happening.

Whether carried out by a stranger or loved one, it is important to know exactly what to do if you find yourself assaulted by someone else. Assault is a crime and it is never ok to be assaulted by someone.

Get free
The number one thing you need to think about during any kind of assault or attack is getting free so that you can get safe.
Focus on the best way to free yourself from the attacker. This might mean diverting their attention or striking out at them to throw them off guard – each situation is different, trust your gut on the best way to get free.

Get safe
Once you’re free, run as far away from your attackers as possible and to the nearest adult or person you trust. Then call the police and the adult you trust the most.

It’s important that you tell someone what has happened, so they can help. There are lots of different people you can speak to:

• Voice – were here to help you, no matter what has happened. It is free to talk to us and we don’t have to tell anyone if you don’t want us to;
• an adult you can trust – this could include a teacher, a family member, youth worker or support worker. Tell them what’s happened, and ask for their help and advice; and
• your friends – they will listen to you and may help you speak to an adult.

Call the police and make a report
The sooner you get to the police station, the more information you will remember and the more likely it will be that the police will find the people who have assaulted you. The police will also be able to take pictures of your injuries to have as evidence.

Get medical help
Injuries will always heal quickest and best with the help of medical professionals – ask an adult you trust to take you to the hospital to get anything seen to by a doctor or nurse.

NEVER:

• Attempt to get revenge: This is only likely to make things worse and can result in you being seriously injured. You can also get into trouble with the police, too.
• Be persuaded to drop the charges: Often the person who committed the assault will try to persuade you to drop the criminal charges. This is particularly likely if you know your attacker. If you do drop charges, the likelihood is that the attacker will go on to assault someone else.

Coping with your feelings after being assaulted

Being assaulted can be extremely frightening and cause both physical and emotional injuries. It is important that you get help from someone you trust.

• Voice – we’re here to help you, no matter what has happened. It is free to talk to us and we don’t have to tell anyone if you don’t want us to;
• an adult you can trust – this could include a teacher, a family member, youth worker or support worker. Tell them what’s happened, and ask for their help and advice;
• your friends – they will listen to you and may help you speak to an adult; and
• the police – always call 999 in an emergency. If you want to speak to the police any other time, you can call 101.

Seeing people be violent in your home can leave you feeling unhappy or lead to you having trouble sleeping.

What can I do?

If you feel it’s safe, tell the people involved how you feel about what’s happening. They may not realise that you know what’s happening or how scary it is.

If it doesn’t feel safe to talk with them, speak to another trusted adult who may be able to support you.

You can always talk to Voice about anything you need help with – we’re here for you whenever you need us.

Physical abuse can happen within relationships at all ages.

If your boyfriend or girlfriend is hurting you for any reason or trying to control what you do or who you see, that is wrong and is illegal.

Relationships can be confusing and it can be difficult to understand what is and isn’t normal behaviour. Remember:

• relationships are all about being nice to each other;
• you should feel loved, safe and free to be yourself; and
• if someone makes you do something you don’t want to, makes you feel scared or intimidates you, it’s never OK.

Am I being abused? 

Abuse in teenage relationships is the same as abuse in older relationships – it’s all about power and control.

Abuse checklist

Does your boyfriend, girlfriend or partner:

• get jealous or possessive of you?
• become angry when you want to spend time with your friends or demand that you spend all your time with them?
• check your phone, email, and social media accounts?
• try and get you to defriend people on Facebook, take down your photos, or stop you messaging your friends?
•  always call, text or message you to check where you are and who you’re with?
• tell you what to wear or how to do your hair?
• get aggressive? Do they hit, shove, slap or kick you?
• threaten to harm you – or themself?

All of these are abuse and are wrong and illegal.

If abuse is happening to you, you’re not to blame. It might feel like you’re alone, but you’re not – you deserve to be safe and help is available. You shouldn’t confront your abuser on your own. Instead speak to a trusted adult (family member, teacher, youth worker or the police) about what’s happening to you. You can also talk to Voice.