Something about them is scaring me… 5 warning signs of a violent partner

Intuition can be a fantastically helpful tool, and if you’re concerned about your partner’s behaviour, you may be onto something.

If they call and text you obsessively, constantly demand to know where you are and seem irrationally jealous, you’re probably in an abusive relationship.

Domestic abuse takes on many forms, and while your partner might be subjecting to you emotional and mental torment, the possibility of it turning violent may also be on your mind.

If it is, you’re probably thinking that way for a reason, which means the potential for violence could already be there.

Here’s five early warning signs to look out for:

1. Everything feels like it’s going too fast

A fast-paced relationship doesn’t immediately indicate danger, but if you feel like things are moving more quickly than you’d prefer, there may be a problem.

For instance, perhaps you became a couple very quickly and, not long after, your partner suggested moving in together. Maybe a marriage proposal came completely out of the blue and simply didn’t feel right.

Abusive partners seek emotional investment so they can satisfy their need for control.

2. They’re always checking on your whereabouts

Where were you last night? Why are you going out this weekend? You don’t normally get home from work this late…

In the early stages of a relationship, the eagerness to know where you are and what you’re up to can be endearing and entirely innocent, but if your partner goes from that to seemingly tracking your every move, it might be cause for concern.

3. They use possessive language

“You’re mine,” says your partner, more forcefully than you’d perhaps like.

Again, the feeling of being extremely special to someone might at first seem flattering, but “you’re mine” can just as easily be exchanged for “you’re my property” when uttered by an abusive partner.

Jealousy is a similar issue. If your partner seems overly concerned about you spending time with other people, questions your activity on social media or continuously brings up your ex partners, it’s another form of possessiveness.

4. You’re becoming isolated

When was the last time you saw your best friend? Are your parents starting to ask when they’ll next see you for dinner?

Abusive people often attempt to isolate their partners. They’ll do this surreptitiously by slowly taking control of your diary but they may even start to suggest that your friends and family are causing a problem.

This form of manipulation is particularly cruel, because it takes you away from the people you love and who’s support you probably need.

Comments such as “I think they’re trying to ruin our relationship” and “that friend isn’t good for you” should set off alarm bells.

5. You don’t seem to have time for hobbies

Manipulative partners may also take you away from the stuff you love doing.

“You wouldn’t go to the gym tonight if you loved me”, is an example of blatant manipulation, but it can be more subtle, too.

For instance, “do you really have to go to that gig tonight? I thought you might like to spend the evening with me” is entirely innocent when said by a genuinely loving partner, but in the wrong hands is designed to make you feel bad enough to cancel your plans but ‘wanted’ enough to commit to your partner.

Talk to Voice

There’s nothing more heartbreaking that fearing someone you love.

The team at Voice are here for you if you need to talk. All calls are completely confidential, and you’ll have the opportunity to speak to someone who will be the friendly voice you need to hear at this difficult time.

Listen to your intuition. Contact us.

Image credit